“But love, I’ve come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day.” -Nicholas Sparks
This may sound cliche…ok, this absolutely sounds cliche…but I guess time flies when you’re having fun! Today marks 6 months since Marcus and I tied the knot, and it has been – hands down – the best 6 months of our life together. During our engagement we both heard on many occasions, and from various different people, that marriage changes things. Marcus and I talked about what we possibly thought could change given that we had already been living together for 3+ years, and neither of us could come up with much. I believe we felt we were already in the groove of being together, living together, loving each other, and that marriage would simply change my name and we’d finally have the coveted title of Mr. and Mrs., Husband and Wife.
During our engagement I was so excited to become his wife, but I didn’t really know what to expect. You often hear that the first year of marriage is the hardest, and that being married is a lot of work. None of this worried me because I know that we both love each other and that we will stand by each others’ side through anything life throws our way. I’d have to say that I really feel we are lucky in love because marriage has been nothing short of a dream come true. Honestly.
That’s not to say that things stayed the same. You may be wondering if anything changed… Yes! A lot changed, and I must say it was pleasantly surprising. I will speak for myself here, but I know my husband shares my feelings on many of the things I’m about to say.
–I have a new sense of confidence in our relationship. This is not to say that I did not have confidence in our relationship before. However, now that we are married I have a new feeling of assurance that we will get through anything and everything, together. This confidence is the best feeling in the world.
-I no longer get bothered by the ‘little things’. Everyone has little things they do, and sometimes after living with someone for awhile little things can start to irritate you. I have noticed that the little things my husband does are no longer bothersome to me. Some of this comes from the fact that I am looking at things differently. I make the choice to not let silly little things bother me, because what good does that do for anyone? And part of this comes from knowing that these little things are just that, little things, and it’s better to learn to live with them and embrace (and maybe even love and find joy in…) them rather than nagging and letting these things turn into something bigger.
-I am my husband’s wife. This is a bit of an obvious one, but these words have so much meaning. Husband. Wife. I did not realize how much I would enjoy saying these words, out loud, to anyone (and everyone), whenever possible. These words have a way of making me feel so very wonderful. I love being my husband’s wife.
-We are playing new roles in our relationship. When we were dating I think that we were both a little more selfish, which isn’t a bad thing! However, now that we are married we have both stepped up to our new roles. I know that we both value these new roles and take them seriously. On a daily basis I think about the wife my husband deserves, and I strive to be that person.
-We have the conversations you think about having with your husband or wife. We always had (pretty) good communication in our relationship, but now we are on a whole new level. We open up our communication to very deep conversations about the past, where we have come from, and the wounds that we may carry. We also open up our communication to our future, where we want to be, and how we are going to get there. Some of the conversations we have had in the past 6 months have been the most important conversations I’ve had in my life. I am so thankful to be sharing these conversations, feelings and thoughts with my husband.
Some of the daily things I focus on in our marriage are:
-Taking pride in our marriage, and in being my husband’s wife.
-Having the utmost respect for my husband, and our marriage.
-Being filled with joy everyday that my husband has chosen to spend his life with me.
These simple, daily thoughts have aided in ensuring that our newlywed life together has been everything (and more) than we could have dreamt of. I am confident that the months and years to come will follow suit and be just as amazing, and even more so, than our first six months!